Today is my first day as a 22 year old and i have decided that i am going to make this year count.

I have spent my adult life floating about trying to keep my head above water, but now i can see that actually i was drowning.

it took this blog to make me realise the person i have become. seeing my posts and my thoughts there in black and white, days after i first had them has made me wake up to the fact that i am not fulfilled or happy, nor am i going to be if i dont change it. NOW!

the only good thing in my life is my daughter.

I have been tearing myself up these past few days after splitting up with R but now I am confident that i am doing the right thing. there is a whole world out there that i am missing out on because i was in that relationship. he will always have my friendship and a part of me will always love him, he is the father of my child after all. but i shouldnt let my own life go just because i have a child.

last night i got talking to someone from my past. he was my best friend for many years but we were never romantically involved. i suddenly realised that i missed him. i missed the random things we used to do and how we didnt care what other people thought. when we got talking he said that he had missed me too and that we should go for a drink sometime(purely as friends...hes like a brother) and i found myself longing to just let my hair down and not worry what R might think or if he was waiting on me to get home.

I dont know what the future holds but i do know that its just as much up to me as it is fate.

Im going to start living my life!